Life lessons from a Wiseman: in memory of my Father.

It's been two years (2016 - 2018) since I lost my dad. I miss him a lot and just want to hear his assertive and assuring voice again. March 26 will always be close to my heart and remembered because dad passed away a day before my birthday on the 27 March. May his soul rest in eternal peace.

Now my dad wanted us to celebrate his life more then anything. He was a very influential man in the church, community, village and work place. We all try to emulate such a role model but admit once in a while that the standard dad set is so high.

In this write up I want to share some of my dads life lessons. Some may relate to you and your family members while other lessons might be new to you. Regardless of what they are, I want to share with you and hope you share with others too.

Dads Bio
Name: Kilamu Kellie Gwae Gwacleyam Thom
AKA: Wiseman, Gwae or Kilamu
Profession: Engineer & Human Resource
Born: 05 March 1963
Died: 26 March 2016

REST IN PEACE DADDY

Think before talking

This is why we called dad "Wiseman". While many of us rush in with a reply and say something stupid, we should all stop, think and then talk. Dad was really good at this, people can be angry at him or toss a thousand words at him but he would really take time to digest everything before coming up with a response. Dad's responses where short and sweet and many times when he responded one would have nothing to say back.

Sorry does not change a thing

This is probably the best for me and makes so much sense. Dad hates it when something is done wrong and the word "Sorry" is used. Dad tells us every time we say sorry that "Your Sorry won't and does not change a single thing". Let's say you drop a your dad's phone and broke the screen. You would immediately say sorry, but the fact is, when you say sorry its just a word. That word Sorry won't fix that broken phone screen so better to buy a new one aye! Thanks dad this is my favorite.

Safety is Paramount

Up to his dying moments dad kept his professionalism and his awareness on the world around him. He always considers safety and safety practises a way of life and he has instilled that to all of us who knew him. He reminded us every time in everything we do about safety and its consequences. And everything must be done in the right process.

Planning: Thinking ahead

Always think ahead and anticipate all possible outcomes and how to handle each scenario. Create a plan A and plan B but never fall back to plan B unless you have no option at all. Planning is everything from what to say, do, see, time, how, where and who.

Self Discipline: It is you that matters

Dad was always a mentor and someone who love to give back advises and be the best leader. He was one that never really cared about what people thought of him but would worry about what people thought of his family. He always encourages us to be ourselves and know and believe in what we do and that he would always support us. He wanted the best from any individual and knew someone's  potential before they even had a clue.

Be A Mentor: Help others even if they don't help you back

Dad has mentored so many people in his lifetime. From sports to education to marriage to working professionals, even the street kids, or the mothers doing buai sales. Everyone loved him and his ever presence to assist. He was always there for everyone. I remember when I went through my relationship split dad was exhausted in trying everything to help the relationship. He called me one time and said "Son your on your own now if you want to pursue this lady, she made me old to quickly and is one tough nut to crack". That was that, I chose my dad and family over someone I dearly loved.

Have fun, life is too short.

Dad never wanted us to be bad kids but always encouraged us to have fun and make our own decisions. He had fun with us growing up playing back yard cricket or touch rugby or playing loud music with us. He always has time for a joke and always laughs at your joke even if it was not funny. Whether he knew his time was short or not I know dad had the best life time of fun and laughter.

Move On: If you're done with someone

Dad was a favorite where ever he went, his influence on the youths and those doing though was something he was proud of but never showed it. He was a man who never really like getting credit but was proud he did something that would contribute to a better person or community. Many people lie to dad too and when dad was done with them he was done. He would never go back to someone so easily. It was a simple message that everyone took. When he is done he has moved on!

Anytime is Tea time

He bloody loved his tea. Anywhere or anytime is a good tea time for dad. The worst times I reckon when dad drank tea was when he works his orchid garden during the dad and he is all sweaty and most probably dizzy and asks for a cup of tea. That was crazy, while most of us have tea for breakfast or let me say during designated times or meals for dad tea time is anytime!

Spend time on a hobby

Dad had a lot of hobbies and I think the two favorites would be lighting a fire and his orchid garden. Back in Ramu he was the orchid king he basically had every orchid and everyone even family from Ramu or Lae travel to Ramu just to see and exchange orchids with him. The house was so colourful when the orchids bloom. Fire was a way of life I guess dad loved lighting up fires burning stuff like rubish or just on the barbeque. But he showed us that if you love something make it a hobby and spend enough time doing that hobby.

I wish I could tell you my dads full story but it would probably be like a book. But I hope the little I share with you all today is enough to inspire you. Thank again and to dad, miss you man. RIP!

Some quotes from a man we all loved and miss.

* "This year the Broncos will win it"
* "Sorry won't change a thing"
* "Same song, same guitar, same time, same same same"
* "Never wear your shorts loose bum if you wana walk around naked then do so"
* "Education or Sports, you choose"
* "Walk away proud with your head up, there are plenty ladies out there"